so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
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