U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
