I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
