everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We had to coat check the pizza.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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