If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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