Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
