May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
