At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
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2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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