"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
