I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
