So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Found your dick twin last night
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Randomize
