I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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