You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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