I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
