I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
