so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
