That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
