you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
