school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize