We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
