Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
