At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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