We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver