i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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