We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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