Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?