Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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