She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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