Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
