apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
