if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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