Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Randomize
