I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize