just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
