one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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