We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
