He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
