it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
