THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
