Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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