i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
