Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
a search helicopter?!
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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