just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
