When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
