Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
