That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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