We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
There r osticjed everywhere
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I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
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Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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