Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
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I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
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You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
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