I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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