Your tits are I can't wait for
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
