My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
