Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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