we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
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