Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
