I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
