You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
