I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
