she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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