took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
