so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
