i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
