a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
