are you still at the devil's house?
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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