I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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