I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Randomize
