She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
