his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
