i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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